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Writer's pictureCourtney Bossarte

Have you noticed

Have you noticed that when you tell someone they are something like, “You are…crazy, stupid, selfish, angry, lazy…etc.” there is a feeling, a sensation that is present in you at the exact same time you are speaking it?

Have you ever become curious how you “Know” this other person are these things?

What is this “knowingness” in you that “knows”? And how do you “know it knows”?

When we are able to get to these spaces in contemplation and listening, we may discover the wisdom of the sages and how the are able to be more adept at staying in the present moment.

What does your body feel when you “know” something? How does it respond to “truth”?


How do you “know” it’s truth?

There is a “knowingness” that “knows”. How can we test that theory until we become the “knower of the knowing”?

It’s interesting that spirituality tends to be a lot like science.

Actually, in my experience, it is very paradoxically scientific. There is a theory of “isness” yet to “know” it, one must surrender a ton of ideas of what isn’t (that gradually present themselves) to “see” or “know” that it is. Otherwise it still isn’t. How do we prove these hypotheses? My inner scientist is very curious.

Yet the question is “who is the one that knows” when it is or when it isn’t.

That’s the journey.

Now that I have you here, consider another facet of this same question: If you were to tell someone that they are…”beautiful, intelligent, delightful…etc.” you would observe that your body has sensations when you speak (or think) this too. It equally has sensations when you tell someone that they are “stupid, evil, ugly…etc.”

Which of these do you think feels better? We already have a social condition that would more widely accept “beautiful” over “ugly” despite many people being able to connect more sensationally with the feeling of “ugly” than “beautiful” (That in itself is curious, isn’t it?) but the more important question here is, “how do YOU feel when you connect with each one of these words”?

When we start to experience the correlation between feelings and sensations (not emotions), and the one who is thinking and saying these things, we would observe that what we say (and think) matters to how we feel.

First there is ourselves who think it, then say it and then observe the impact. First impact is to ourselves. How do we know?

We can feel how we feel when we think and say it.

Does what we think (it) feel good?

Why is this important to feel good?

And feeling, from my perspective, is about sensorial experience, not emotion.

Because without looking at how the process of the mind as a whole works, it is a slow death. We may talk about projection and transference, but if we don’t understand where it starts, and the importance of seeing the impact to ourselves, we may nudge a healthy mind to self-destruct.

My belief is that Mental health issues are a result of broken thinking, incoherent beliefs that are not aligned in whole object orientation.

Think about trauma and one repeating the story that deepens the idea that we are no longer something that we once were. Loss of: innocence, purity, God, other, power, love, etc. and now we must "do something" to regain/restore it. It is the crux of mental health and why learning how to think and why it matters is important.

We cannot talk about a healthy body and the food we put in if we cannot correlate the ideas we have as food for the body either.

We "are" what we think. (Food for thought?)

And if we are not willing to look simply at the quality of thoughts we have at the cost of the whole, we become lost. If we cannot digest the ideas and break them down into smaller pieces, connecting how we feel with what we think, we will (in time notice we become and) are out of contact with our body/mind and spirit.

And so if we cannot bear to endure what we think, what that thought creates for us as a quality of feeling, it makes all the sense that we would not want to face the consequences of our own thinking.

Especially if we can manipulate or gaslight others to take the burden of our own pain so that we can stay in denial about what we are thinking that is not in alignment with the whole. Lots of society does this.

To generate this form of denial which would create pain for another is a clear indicator that one is not in alignment with their own embodiment in that moment for if they were, they would never desire another to live in any realm of hell that they have.

So it is reasonable to continue that thought by saying that one who is out of contact with their own thoughts and then the feelings generated by them when they are not in alignment with truth, known by the knower within them in which we all have the ability to be in contact with, may temporarily lose sight of a whole picture of the impact to themselves firstly, and secondly what generating those thoughts does to another.

Especially when we add our conviction to the truth of that thought, upon another as “what or who” they are.

That then leads to the other importance of being humbly in contact with the “knower who knows” within us.

When we start to question the “who and what” knows within us, we start to become more and more aware of how much, then how little we know and how much more this “knower” within knows.

We start to take more of a backseat to our experiences and can observe more.

We can trust more and more that this “knower” knows more than we do about any person, situation and experience that we have.

We also observe that by seeing the contrast and then limitations generated by listening to ourselves without this “knower”, the quality of our experience, and the impact to ourselves and others are lessened.

It gives a newer and fresher quality to the idea that “I don’t know” when we can recognize the limitations that arise in contrast to when we do believe we know, and the choices on the table that we might before have overlooked to make hasty decisions plus the cost of those, we see that surrender to this knower yields a different fruit, which also means a different outcome.

What we also might start to observe in life is a deepening. We start to see more of the same in everything versus the contrast. We may also experience the safety that life is, where the mind is no longer used as a hyper-vigilant tool of self-protection, perpetuating ideas of “other” and “not me” but seen for what it is, subservient to and part of the whole of the human, not just the parts it likes or doesn’t like.

When we can connect with our body sensations and experience how our own thoughts generate our experience, we can become more aware of our impact to ourselves and then others.

When we can connect with our thoughts and feel our body responds to those thoughts, we can become more aware that we are choosing, not someone else, how to think and become more conscientious of how to think better.

When we see the fallacy in soliciting others to blame for the way that we choose to think, we can change.

When it matters to us how we feel, and that how we think is directly correlated to how we feel and what emotions we experience as a result of what we think, we naturally become more responsible.

And we will watch others be in different stages of this “knowing” which may push our buttons to go deeper into the “why” of our experience to purify our minds more so as to think more purely, more lovingly, more clearly, more reasonably, more comprehensively, more (w)holistically.

It isn’t about changing the way others think or perceive. It is about feeling good in our experience of being. And to feel safe enough to let go of the mind, to “know” the limitations of this tool so as to be present to our experience in a wholistic way, is truly living.

Our “mind-less-ness” is really full of the stuff that we think matters. And when we watch how we allow our mind to continue to place stuff in between each other, convictions about life that we haven’t even challenged against our own “knowing” within (which would give us peace), we short change our life.

We choose breadcrumbs over the loaf of bread that we all are given to sustain us individually and seek each other for nourishment instead of our own self-regenerative intimacy within.

The way in which we think, and the quality of those thoughts matter. Until they don’t.

And since we are all impacted by each other’s thought choices, please choose well.

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