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Writer's pictureCourtney Bossarte

Narcissism: Look inside you first and clean the closet

Self Identification is tricky. Narcissism is characterized by a lack of self reflection (awareness). But who is the one who has the "right" perspective?


Yet within this idea of lack and self, the question arises: what/who/which is the self that is being reflected upon? Imagine that first without coming from a place of wholeness within the self reflection, which would include both people within its consideration, both then are reflecting from the same self. A self centered self. Who then could be right?


Self serving is self separating and how can we make loving decisions about another if we come from inner fragmentation? Even if we thought we were "selfless", the self that isn't advocating from the fullness of self is still self serving (self sacrificing). And if at the core we have lost contact with the foundation of being that unites the whole, how could we see that we are also not operating in the highest good?


It's difficult to see a whole society perpetuating an idea of madness that at the heart, divides. This may seem a radical idea for many yet if there is a stick in your eye, how can you see well to tell your brother they are not correct? And that you are, more than they? When is compassion and understanding not the antidote for connection? Yet this entity does not care for that for at the core, it is (little) self serving and maintaining the illusion of separation is how it feeds to stay alive.


Until we pull that "narcissistic" stick out of our own eye first, and see that we demand what we do not extend, first, we only stand in hypocrisy. To call anyone anything without seeing that we too are that which we name, is to perpetuate disconnection. The first disconnection is within, with our source. The second is to deny the disconnection as if it doesn't exist between you and everything else. Even in all this, we are innocent for we don't see what we cannot see.


When the blind are leading the blind, how could we know we are blind? So how then could we judge another for their blindness in the same way, how could we be judged for ours. Let us then put down our rocks and be with what arises within our own inner landscape as what is important to tend to, and not our neighbors.




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